Read part 13 here
“As I saw his name flashing on my phone, I went in a state
of shock. I didn’t know what to do. My heart stopped beating. I could feel a
lump forming in my throat. I was scared and I was confused. It was 2 a.m.
After
a few moments of oblivion, I picked up the phone.
Me: Hello
As I heard his voice, I didn’t know what happened to me. His
voice melted my heart. It seemed like a decade since I had talked to him.
Him: Hi, kaisi ho?
I didn’t know how to react. What to reply. What should I
tell him? That I wasn’t well, how could I even imagine being well without him? The
first time when I fell in love, I didn’t for once imagine how life could be
without him. And now I have got a taste of it. It killed me slowly as each day
passed. I couldn’t bear to live the pain.
I wanted to cry to him, to accuse him of forgetting me. But then I didn’t want to fall weak before
him. He didn’t call me for three weeks. He didn’t care for me. Why should I be
the understanding one every time? I agree that he has some previous
relationship issues, that he still has feelings for his first love. But then he
was my FIRST LOVE, why couldn’t he understand what I felt? I was angry.
So I replied curtly-
Me: Thik thak, koi kaam
tha?
Him: Nah, q?
Me: Nahi achanak phone
kiya isliye
Him: Kyun, aisehi nahi kar
sakta.
I was seriously pissed of this time.
Me: Nahi, nothing like that,
normally you don’t call, so I thought ki may be koi kaam tha
Him: Nahi re, was missing
you.
Aur batao, kya kar rahi thi?
Me: Kuch nahi, baas aisehi
was sitting idle”
Till date I don’t know why I didn’t tell him the truth that
night that I was sleeping. I knew if I said that, he would tell me to go back
to sleep and not talk anymore.
But then he had called after so long, how could I miss the
opportunity to talk to him?
My heart and brain were standing at two opposite poles.. My
brain said not to fall weak for him, but as soon as I listened to his voice, as
I felt him close to me, my heart fell weak.
I loved him too much. I couldn’t afford to lose him. This
call had given me a new light of hope and I was prepared to try my best to keep
the candle glowing.
But there was another truth. The past three weeks had
changed me. This time, it’s not just my heart; even my mind was taking a
crucial role in my life, my decisions.
