FIRST LOVE PART 9- FAILED PLANS

Read part 8 here

-“The exams came and gone. Sometimes I used to be depressed, because of the fact that our conversations had grown less frequent. The things he told me were still on my mind. It always gave me an insecure feeling that distance may creep in between us.

On the last day of the exam as I was writing my paper, I was too excited. I waited for the clock to strike 12, then we can again start talking once again with the burden of studies off our head.

I was waiting to meet him, we had decided to meet today. I wanted to hug him tightly, to forget the rest of the world. I wanted to be with him forever. This was supposed to be our first date. I didn’t know what to say, how to react when he is in front of me.

We had decided to meet in the library in the evening when no one would be there. We didn’t want people to know about us yet. As soon as the exam was over, I rushed back to my room, took a long cold shower. Then I sacked through my bags finding a suitable dress to wear. He had said that he liked white. I didn’t have much white clothes and I doubted whether I would look good in the ones I had. After a lot of ransacking and thinking, I finally took out a black top for the evening. I ironed it well, getting rid of all the creases. I wanted the evening to be perfect. Then I thought to get some sleep. I was tired with all the lack of sleep for the exams and I didn’t want my dark circles to show it.”

Smriti stopped and closed her eyes, relishing the moment. I saw little creases on her forhead. I was worried that the worse part might be coming now.

-“What happened then ? Did you meet him? What did you do?” I was getting curious.

-“I woke up at 4 pm by the sound of some commotion. I went outside my room and I saw all the girls standing in groups and discussing something. I was still sleepy and nothing was getting into my head. I washed my face, got the sleep off my mind and then grabbed hold of one of the girls who told me the story.

You remember it na?”, Smriti looked at me.

“Which one?” I asked her.

-“That guy having the bike accident? He was drunk?”

-“Don’t tell me it was him!”, I gasped and stared at her. My heart skipped a beat.

-“No it was not him, but a close friend of his. When I heard of the incident, I knew he would be disturbed and upset about it. I didn’t call him, because at this moment still planning the date would be selfish considering how disturbed he would be. And I didn’t want to call and console him because I knew it wouldn’t help much. I knew him. He needed some time alone with himself. I decided to text him at night when everything comes under control. I understood the importance of the situation.

I was a little upset. We couldn’t meet before the vacation.

I texted him at night. He asked me if I went to the library. I said that I knew everything, so I didn’t call him. I asked him whether he was okay. He said that he was a little tired.

We didn’t talk on that topic; I knew it would upset him. I told him that we wouldn’t be able to talk so much during the vacations because of family. He assured me not to worry, we would find out a way. I was happy. My hopes were returning.

We chatted normally for a while. Then at one time I got a little angry on him. It was momentary. When we tried mending things, the network went off.

Stupid phone!” Smriti sighed.

P.S.- Next part on 8th April

FIRST LOVE PART 8- COMPROMISES

Read part 7 here

“The next morning, I woke up with a heavy heart, recollecting the happenings of the night. I didn’t know what to do, how to react. I loved him a lot; I didn’t want to let him go. But then again I couldn’t really accept everything I heard last night.

And then a realisation struck me. This wasn’t meant to be forever. He loved someone else. I doubted my existence in his life. For one moment I felt as if he was using me. I felt sad, angry. I cursed myself for falling in love with him. But the mistake has already been done. I had already given my heart to him, unaware of the truth.

Whenever I thought or dreamt of falling in love with someone, I had never imagined him to be a perfect guy. I had always thought that I would never let his past or habits bother me. Now I realised that practical life is much different from theoretical dreams. My heart loved him, but my mind couldn’t accept anything he said last night.

But once the mistake has been done, it has been done. Once you have walked your way, there is no turning back. I knew this wasn’t meant to be forever, this relation is bound to end someday, but I didn’t want it to be today. I wanted to give it a chance, to work on it. I decided to give all my strength and energy into it, to fight for my love till the last moment. I wasn't ready to accept the reality.

I took my cell and text-ed him-

Baby it’s all right, you don’t have to be upset for yesterday. Don’t think too much. I love you and I will always be with you.

My eyes were blurred with tears.

He didn’t reply back. I spent the whole day thinking about him. I was worried about the consequences of whatever happened last night.

He texted at night, just the way it used to be. I didn’t bring up the topic of last night. I was afraid of the consequences. I didn’t want to lose him. I wanted it to be just me and him. It was our time; I didn’t want to bring anyone else into it. I loved him a lot to overlook whatever the past was. I had faith in myself that I can make things right. I felt relieved when the night passed peacefully. I knew now that our relationship was hard but not impossible.

Things became better between us. He was caring and possessive about me and I liked it. I wanted to be his only, and I wanted him to feel the same. We used to remain busy all day. But at night we couldn’t sleep without talking to each other. He was a silent type of guy while I was a chatterer. But he was a patient listener. We never fought; each of us understood the other well. We could even read each other’s mind without talking. I could always feel his aura around me. When sometimes he used to text me from a new number without even writing his name, only a glimpse of his message would make me realise that it was him. 

At one point we even grew so close to each other, that sometimes I even understood that it was his message just by the sound of the message tone.”

Smriti stopped for a moment. I could see a smile spread across her face. I realised she was getting deeper into it, living everything once again. She started narrating once again.

“Everything went on fine till the semesters came. We then both decided that it was not healthy having long conversations at night. We need to concentrate on our exams more than each other. We can talk after the exams were over. We even planned to go on our first date on the day exams get over, before I leave for home.

Little did I know that things would change so much after this.”

Next part on 31st March

FIRST LOVE PART 7- THE BITTER PAST

Read part 6 here

“Him: I need to tell you something

Me: Say na

Him: I love you

Me: I love you too baby

Him: But there’s something you need to know about me

Me: What?

Him: I was in a relationship with a girl for three years.

Me: It’s okay dear, I don’t care about your past.

Him: There’s more you should know.

Me: Tell

Him: I still love her. But family problems made us far. She told her parents, they didn’t accept. I haven’t said anything at home yet.

I didn’t know what to say. I felt as if I was blinded. My heart stopped for a moment. I had no idea why he was telling me that. For a moment I doubted my existence.

Me: If you still love her, why are you not with her?

Him: Her parents didn’t agree. And she doesn’t want to try.

Someone was pushing a dagger through my heart. Each word I said, I don’t know why I said them, I just know how each of them stung me. I felt like punching through the wall, pushing my face in the pillow and crying out loud. Every part of me was getting heavier. My mind was dumb. I don’t know what made me say all that.

Me: Tell her, go to her, If you love her, you should be with her.

Him: I have tried telling her a lot of times, but she doesn’t listen.

Me: But if you love her, why did you tell me that you love me?

Him: Because I love you too.

Me: But you can’t love two people at the same time, it’s against nature’s rules.

Him: I know, but nature’s law sucks

Me: But you can’t love two people.

Him: I know. I love the girl who has been with me for three years but we talk just once a month. But I love 

the support of the girl with whom I talk every day.

Me: I don’t know what to say

Him: Please don’t be upset. I love you, that’s why I said all these to you. Can you love me after knowing all these?

Me: I think you should talk to her, about us.

Him: I don’t get you

Me: To move ahead with me, you need to talk to her about “us”, tell her about me.

Him: I can’t do this. Baby can you still love me knowing all these?

Me: Please give me some time, you go to sleep.

Him: Please don’t be upset baby; I don’t want you to be sad.

Me: Go to sleep, you have an exam tomorrow, we can talk about this later, don’t think too much.

Him: Exam is not important, you are important.

Me: Go to sleep, we can talk about this later.”

Smriti stopped for a moment. She had started crying again. I had no idea how to stop her this time. I didn’t know whether a hug will do.

Today’s the 13^th of February, a day before Valentine’s Day. I know what she might be going through. She 

must have made so many plans for the big day. How could I not have known such a big secret of hers?

I felt guilty.

Next part on 28th March

FIRST LOVE PART 6- HEAD OVER HEELS IN LOVE

Read part 5 here

-“ We used to text every day. It sort of became a habit. From strangers, we became friends, from friends to best friends. Not a single day passed without talking to each other. It was as if we couldn’t sleep.

We talked about a lot of stuff. Pulling each other’s legs and all. We never got out of topics to talk. I even sort of selected some girls to become his girlfriend. After a few days he didn’t like that though”

-“So you chose girlfriends for your boyfriend?”

-“He wasn’t my boyfriend till then”

-“Ohh”

-“Our chats used to continue for hours till one of us fell asleep. In the middle of all these, God knows when we fell for each other. He became very obsessive about me, and even I was passionately in love with him”.

-“Aww  that was so sweet. What happened next?”

-“A dark secret was revealed”, She paused.

I could feel the tension growing again.

I was scared. I left her alone beside the window and got inside to make some coffee for both of us. It was chilling outside.

I didn’t want to know what surprise was waiting for me now. I didn’t want to know what hurts her so much.

But I had to do it, for her...

P.S.- Next part on 25th March

FIRST LOVE PART 5- JUST CHATTING!!

Read part 4 here

“A  month later, I was just sitting idle surfing the net. He was online, I overlooked. Suddenly out of the blue he pinged me-

Him : Hey

Me: Hi

Him: How r u?

Me: Good, and u?

Him: Me too, net slow hai na bahut?

Me: There’s some problem with my laptop, lan nahi chalta, i use the dongle

Him: Oh god, net ka itna craze?

Me: Nah, craze nahi  hai, sometimes it’s a necessity. I was sleeping now, woke up with a bad news of the demise of one of my teachers

Him: Oh, m sorry, don’t worry, fir se so jao.

 You there?

Me: Yeah.

Him: Mera net bahut slow hai, it’s showing you are offline. Come on gtalk

Me: Ok.

Now my dongle is also against me

Him: Yeah the net connection here sucks, i prefer messages

Me: Yeah, it seems rude when you are chatting with someone and then suddenly the net goes off

Him: Thr?

Kaha gyi?

Me: I am online through my cell

Him: We won’t be able to talk like this.

 Gimme your number

Me: 98********

“

P.S.- next part on 23rd march....

FIRST LOVE-PART 4: IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH

Read Part 3 here

-“Our work got over. We didn't get to see each other much after that.

A month later I was down with common cold. You know the breathing troubles I have during a fever, I can’t even sleep at night. I decided to visit the hospital”

-“How come I wasn’t there with you?” I asked because we always go together to the hospital.

-“You were having extra classes and I wasn’t in a mood to wait. So I went alone.”

-“What happened there?” I was growing restless.

-“He was there, with his friend. He was having a cold, and being fair skinned, his nose was as red as a reindeer. We chatted while waiting for our turn.”

-“Huh, so the common cold virus is good, gave you a boyfriend!”  I teased her.

-“Shut up or else I won’t tell you anything,” she gave me a stern look.

-“Ok miss, as you wish”, I could feel the tension getting out of her. I was happy.

-“That night while I was online on facebook, I found him online too. So I pinged him-

Me: Hi

Him: Hey

Me: How r u feeling now?

Him: Better, I took the medicines

Me: Take care and take your medicines on time and take a lot of rest

Him: Yeah

My net connection went off after that. Stupid dongle”, she sighed.

-“ You know why I like you, because you are so caring about everybody.” I smiled at her.

And She smiled back.

P.S.- Next part on 20th March

FIRST LOVE-PART 3: BROWN TAPE

Read part 2 here

-“We first saw each other in August. We were working on creating something artistic and technical. We were given different jobs. He was supposed to handle the technical stuff while I handled the artistic one. So mostly he worked from the department, research and all, works involving lots of net surfing, running to the professors, meeting people, scheduling dates. I still don’t know actually what all work he had to do.

On the other hand I was given the sticky and dirty stuff. Sitting in a room filled with people, mostly who didn’t have any work to do, sticking away chart papers, thermocols, drawing , cutting, painting etc.”

-“what’s his name?” I was getting curious.

-“I can’t say that.”

-“okay, cool. But how did you two meet when you were doing two totally different types of work?”

-“I am getting to that. On the third day of our work I was alone doing some really tough stuff sticking pieces of wood with brown tape. It was very tough for just one person to do the work of holding the pieces together and sticking them with tape. He saw I was working alone, so he came to help. That was the first time I saw him. A bold and serious type guy, wearing a white and blue checked shirt. I got an idea of his strength when I saw him tearing off the brown tape with his fingers. He didn’t know exactly how to put the tape around, so even got a little scolding from me”

-“So you fell in love with a guy while sticking brown tapes?”I was sarcastic.

-“Shut up”, and she smiled and blushed a little.

I was happy to see her smile. I wrapped my arms around her. She continued with her story.


P.S.- Next part on 17th March

FIRST LOVE-PART 2: A SURPRISE

Read part 1 first

My mouth opened wide in shock. I was speechless. Finally I gathered up my strength and spoke

-“BREAK-UP? But that’s supposed to happen when you have a boyfriend? Everyone knows that you have been single all your life!”

-“No one knows me enough, it’s been three months since I am committed”

I didn’t know what to say. I have known her for a whole year, she had always been with us, She had always behaved as a single girl did. We never saw her put on makeup and go out, or talk on the phone to anyone except her mother, which never lasted for more than 5 minutes in a day. Then when did the boyfriend get in her life? Where did she fit him in his schedule?

-“Tell me everything”, I was curious

-“I will. I will tell you each part of it.”

-“But, but I never saw you with a guy, you never went out, you were never even on the phone”

-“Have you ever noticed me texting at night?”

-“yeah”

But I have noticed texting her the whole year, all the time, the whole day. She was addicted to sms-ing. I even have a feeling that the new TRAI sms rule was applied because of her. She was a tom-boyish type of girl. By tom-boyish I don’t mean the one with short hair and wears guy type clothes. She is a girl who mixes  a lot with all types of boys. She is a girl who has survived a whole year in this college without anyone ever doubting her to have a boyfriend irrespective of the fact that she talks to and roams around with so many boys.

Even I, her room-mate never got a hint about it. I mean she is a sleepless girl, god knows when she sleeps, she is always texting one or the other friend. Not a single soul ever had a hint of her having a boyfriend

Smriti started narrating the story. I knew this was going to be a long night.....

P.S-Next part up on 13th March.....

FIRST LOVE- PART 1 : END OR BEGINNING

I woke up at the middle of the night by the sound of faint sobbing, sometimes getting louder. It was 2:30 am. At first I thought I was dreaming. But then when I turned to my right, I saw Smriti pushing her face down in her pillow and sniffing. I was scared. I had no idea what this was about.

I didn’t go to her. I was in a state of shock, not knowing what to do. I am always bad at handling crying people. So I got up, sat in my bed, still cuddled under my blanket as it was cold and asked timindly,

-“Hey are you ok?”

She started snobbing louder. My mind wasn’t working right. I was scared as to what has happened to my roommate at this hour of the night. I gathered the courage and got down from my bed and got into hers. I slowly moved her fingers through her hair. I didn’t talk, I just let her cry.

She got up and hugged me tight and started crying loudly. I hugged her tightly and protectively. I was getting curious but I didn’t speak anything as I knew she was in a very vulnerable state. I just sometimes spoke in the middle trying to calm her down.

After 15 minutes she stopped crying. But she still got the sobbing fits. I urged her to calm down. I took her to the washroom which was just opposite to our room and made her wash her face. I even gave her some water to drink. She was getting calm.

We didn’t go inside the room. I felt the aura might not be good for her. Instead i took two chairs and sat with her beside the water cooler in front of the window. We were just gazing out of the window. I didn’t say a word. I didn’t want her to cry again.

After around 10 minutes or so, she spoke

-“I need to talk to you, I mean I need to talk to somebody I can confide in. Please promise it will just be a secret between the two of us, and you won’t ask me any questions”

-“you can trust me. Tell me everything.”

-“I had a break-up just now”

And a tear rolled down her eye.

P.S- Next part coming on 9th March.....