FIRST LOVE PART 17- THE LAST NIGHT

Read Part 16 here

I was sleeping tonight when I heard my phone beeping; I woke up with a start. It was him

He: hi

I stopped breathing. It stops every time I see his name in my cell. A strange feeling of happiness and ecstacy gets over me. I was crying, I was happy, still I didn’t know why I was crying. I needed him, why couldn’t he understand? He was sick and that made me miserable, why didn’t he realise that I wanted to take care of him, I wanted him to be fine, I can’t see him unfit.

I wiped my tears and slowly typed

Me: Hey how are you now?

He: Too bad

I was worried, I hurriedly replied back

Me: Did you see a doctor? Are you taking your medicines on time?

He: yeah, but there’s no improvement.

Me: Visit another doctor, maybe that would help.

Him: I don’t want to talk about my health, it pisses me off.

I realised how disturbed he might be. I didn’t want him to be sad.

Me: Don’t worry, just give me a hug and you will be fine.

Him: No, I don’t want a hug.

It came as a bolt from the blue; I didn’t know why he was behaving like this.

Me: What happened? Is everything ok?

Him: I think we should be just friends.

My heart stopped beating. I didn’t know what he wanted to say. I didn’t want to know. I just stared at the 

message, I didn’t know how to react.

Me: Ok

And I dumped my face in my pillow and tried to sleep. The monster was eating me up inside.

After what seemed like a decade, my phone beeped again. I didn’t want to see what it was, I was scared 

beyond words.

Him: Please try to understand, this is not right, nothing is right.

I realised what he meant, I was desperately praying to god that maybe I was wrong. I didn’t feel like talking 

to anyone then, I didn’t feel like living. I didn’t want to believe what he was saying. I didn’t want to face life, 

face the truth. Somehow with trembling hands, I typed-

Me: I understand, and you are not well, go to sleep.

I somehow had the feeling, that this is all a nightmare, and everything would be fine in the morning.

The phone beeped again. This time I felt like throwing it away, I didn’t want to talk to him now, I didn’t want to face all he was saying. I felt like shouting at him but I was too weak for that.

Him: I don’t know, I still love her.

My mind went blank, I was tired, I didn’t want to argue, I didn’t want to ask anything

Me: Then you should go to her.

Someone was pushing a dagger through my heart. Each word I said, I don’t know why I said them, I just know how each of them stung me. I felt like punching through the wall, pushing my face in the pillow and crying out loud. Every part of me was getting heavier. My mind was dumb. I don’t know what made me say all that.”

I could see Smriti sobbing again. Her voice was choked, she had handed me the phone. Tears were flowing through her eyes, they didn’t seem to stop. I didn’t know what to say, how to console her.

I read the rest of the message in silence, and then I deleted the whole conversation from her phone. Every little part of my body was trembling with anger. I hated this guy, I didn’t want him to hurt her anymore. He was a bastard, he had hurt the person who loved him the most, he broke her trust.

I didn’t know how could Smriti let him go, she loved him so much, she fought for her relationship so long, how could she give up without one last fight, how could she just let him go like that?

“If you loved him so much, how could you let him go so easily?”

-“I don’t know why I said all that. I wish I had stopped him, I wish I had fought back. .

Maybe I didn’t love him enough to keep him to me but cared for him enough to let him go”, she hugged me and started crying.

I didn’t know what to say. I just hugged her tight. Even I felt like crying.

-“Hey can I ask you something?”, she stammered.

-“ Sure dear”, I didn’t know what was on her mind.

-“Is it possible that all this is a bad dream and everything will still be okay when I wake up?”, she begged me.

I just hoped it was just  a bad dream for both of us. I didn’t know what to answer

-“Just go to sleep dear, everything will be fine when you wake up”, and I took her to her bed and made her lay down.

But I couldn’t sleep. I just gazed at her all night. I just wished she hadn’t been so innocent.

It was 13th February...

P.S- We come to an end here, thanks to everyone for sticking along and your valuable comments, hope you liked it

FIRST LOVE PART 13- HOPES

Read Part 12 here

“Time passed by. My anger had turn into depression. I had given up all hopes. I was hurt. I was tired and depressed and sick. I wasn’t able to get his thoughts out of my head. His memories made me cry. I wasn’t able to sleep properly. I used to wake up after every hour and check my cell phone for any message or miss calls or even the faintest signs of him. I used to wake up every morning with tears in my eyes.

My heart felt empty. I didn’t feel like doing anything, or talking to anybody. I didn’t want to live, but still I had to keep that smile on my face, I didn’t want anybody to find out about my miseries.

I wasn’t ready to accept my failure. I wasn’t ready to accept that he wasn’t mine, that he had left me for someone else. I loved him a lot, I had given my heart to him and it was too late for me to take it back.” Smriti was sobbing again.

I didn’t want to hear anymore. I was bursting with anger. That coward bastard. How could he do this to my friend? He doesn’t even know how to break-up? Ohh yes, wait he does, don’t call for a week and she will understand!! This is what he does to my friend, Play with her emotions, trample her innocence, use her! I was really pissed off at him now. I was hoping Smriti doesn’t tell me his name else I would go and kill him.

And why not? What has he done to deserve to live? He played with her emotions. That guy doesn’t deserve to be loved; he doesn’t know what the meaning of the word love is. He tortured her mentally, and she let him do it. And today, a day before Valentine ’s Day, he broke up with her! This is what you give to a person who loves you this much. I didn’t know about Smriti, but I will never forgive this guy.

Is this what she had deserved? What was her mistake? That she fell in love, true love with a person who didn’t deserve it? Didn’t she deserve to spend one Valentine ’s Day with her FIRST LOVE? She must have had so many plans for tomorrow.

It was becoming difficult for me to hide my tears. I wasn’t able to take it anymore. How could she carry so much pain in her heart for so long and never even allow anyone to get a hint of it? But then I couldn’t cry. How could I cry before Smriti? She needed me now, I had to be strong.

I was lost in my own thoughts when she started narrating again-

“I thought this was the end. But it wasn’t.

Three weeks later...

I remember I was tired that day. So I slept early. And there wasn’t any more reason for me to stay awake too. He didn’t call, and the more I stayed awake and conscious, his thoughts would hurt me more. I wasn’t able to concentrate on any work I did, so I spent most of my time sleeping.

One day while I was sleeping, I felt like I heard my phone ring. I was sleeping soundly. At first I thought I was dreaming, but later I realised it was not.

As I took my phone in my hand, I was in a state of trance. It was 2 a.m. It took me some time to see the name of the caller and realise who it was.

At first I didn’t believe. But then when I realised whose call it was, my heart stopped beating, my eyes were open wide in shock.

I didn’t know what to do. I forgot what we do when we get a call. I was shocked.

It was him...

FIRST LOVE-PART 2: A SURPRISE

Read part 1 first

My mouth opened wide in shock. I was speechless. Finally I gathered up my strength and spoke

-“BREAK-UP? But that’s supposed to happen when you have a boyfriend? Everyone knows that you have been single all your life!”

-“No one knows me enough, it’s been three months since I am committed”

I didn’t know what to say. I have known her for a whole year, she had always been with us, She had always behaved as a single girl did. We never saw her put on makeup and go out, or talk on the phone to anyone except her mother, which never lasted for more than 5 minutes in a day. Then when did the boyfriend get in her life? Where did she fit him in his schedule?

-“Tell me everything”, I was curious

-“I will. I will tell you each part of it.”

-“But, but I never saw you with a guy, you never went out, you were never even on the phone”

-“Have you ever noticed me texting at night?”

-“yeah”

But I have noticed texting her the whole year, all the time, the whole day. She was addicted to sms-ing. I even have a feeling that the new TRAI sms rule was applied because of her. She was a tom-boyish type of girl. By tom-boyish I don’t mean the one with short hair and wears guy type clothes. She is a girl who mixes  a lot with all types of boys. She is a girl who has survived a whole year in this college without anyone ever doubting her to have a boyfriend irrespective of the fact that she talks to and roams around with so many boys.

Even I, her room-mate never got a hint about it. I mean she is a sleepless girl, god knows when she sleeps, she is always texting one or the other friend. Not a single soul ever had a hint of her having a boyfriend

Smriti started narrating the story. I knew this was going to be a long night.....

P.S-Next part up on 13th March.....

FIRST LOVE- PART 1 : END OR BEGINNING

I woke up at the middle of the night by the sound of faint sobbing, sometimes getting louder. It was 2:30 am. At first I thought I was dreaming. But then when I turned to my right, I saw Smriti pushing her face down in her pillow and sniffing. I was scared. I had no idea what this was about.

I didn’t go to her. I was in a state of shock, not knowing what to do. I am always bad at handling crying people. So I got up, sat in my bed, still cuddled under my blanket as it was cold and asked timindly,

-“Hey are you ok?”

She started snobbing louder. My mind wasn’t working right. I was scared as to what has happened to my roommate at this hour of the night. I gathered the courage and got down from my bed and got into hers. I slowly moved her fingers through her hair. I didn’t talk, I just let her cry.

She got up and hugged me tight and started crying loudly. I hugged her tightly and protectively. I was getting curious but I didn’t speak anything as I knew she was in a very vulnerable state. I just sometimes spoke in the middle trying to calm her down.

After 15 minutes she stopped crying. But she still got the sobbing fits. I urged her to calm down. I took her to the washroom which was just opposite to our room and made her wash her face. I even gave her some water to drink. She was getting calm.

We didn’t go inside the room. I felt the aura might not be good for her. Instead i took two chairs and sat with her beside the water cooler in front of the window. We were just gazing out of the window. I didn’t say a word. I didn’t want her to cry again.

After around 10 minutes or so, she spoke

-“I need to talk to you, I mean I need to talk to somebody I can confide in. Please promise it will just be a secret between the two of us, and you won’t ask me any questions”

-“you can trust me. Tell me everything.”

-“I had a break-up just now”

And a tear rolled down her eye.

P.S- Next part coming on 9th March.....