FIRST LOVE PART 13- HOPES

Read Part 12 here

“Time passed by. My anger had turn into depression. I had given up all hopes. I was hurt. I was tired and depressed and sick. I wasn’t able to get his thoughts out of my head. His memories made me cry. I wasn’t able to sleep properly. I used to wake up after every hour and check my cell phone for any message or miss calls or even the faintest signs of him. I used to wake up every morning with tears in my eyes.

My heart felt empty. I didn’t feel like doing anything, or talking to anybody. I didn’t want to live, but still I had to keep that smile on my face, I didn’t want anybody to find out about my miseries.

I wasn’t ready to accept my failure. I wasn’t ready to accept that he wasn’t mine, that he had left me for someone else. I loved him a lot, I had given my heart to him and it was too late for me to take it back.” Smriti was sobbing again.

I didn’t want to hear anymore. I was bursting with anger. That coward bastard. How could he do this to my friend? He doesn’t even know how to break-up? Ohh yes, wait he does, don’t call for a week and she will understand!! This is what he does to my friend, Play with her emotions, trample her innocence, use her! I was really pissed off at him now. I was hoping Smriti doesn’t tell me his name else I would go and kill him.

And why not? What has he done to deserve to live? He played with her emotions. That guy doesn’t deserve to be loved; he doesn’t know what the meaning of the word love is. He tortured her mentally, and she let him do it. And today, a day before Valentine ’s Day, he broke up with her! This is what you give to a person who loves you this much. I didn’t know about Smriti, but I will never forgive this guy.

Is this what she had deserved? What was her mistake? That she fell in love, true love with a person who didn’t deserve it? Didn’t she deserve to spend one Valentine ’s Day with her FIRST LOVE? She must have had so many plans for tomorrow.

It was becoming difficult for me to hide my tears. I wasn’t able to take it anymore. How could she carry so much pain in her heart for so long and never even allow anyone to get a hint of it? But then I couldn’t cry. How could I cry before Smriti? She needed me now, I had to be strong.

I was lost in my own thoughts when she started narrating again-

“I thought this was the end. But it wasn’t.

Three weeks later...

I remember I was tired that day. So I slept early. And there wasn’t any more reason for me to stay awake too. He didn’t call, and the more I stayed awake and conscious, his thoughts would hurt me more. I wasn’t able to concentrate on any work I did, so I spent most of my time sleeping.

One day while I was sleeping, I felt like I heard my phone ring. I was sleeping soundly. At first I thought I was dreaming, but later I realised it was not.

As I took my phone in my hand, I was in a state of trance. It was 2 a.m. It took me some time to see the name of the caller and realise who it was.

At first I didn’t believe. But then when I realised whose call it was, my heart stopped beating, my eyes were open wide in shock.

I didn’t know what to do. I forgot what we do when we get a call. I was shocked.

It was him...

FIRST LOVE- PART 1 : END OR BEGINNING

I woke up at the middle of the night by the sound of faint sobbing, sometimes getting louder. It was 2:30 am. At first I thought I was dreaming. But then when I turned to my right, I saw Smriti pushing her face down in her pillow and sniffing. I was scared. I had no idea what this was about.

I didn’t go to her. I was in a state of shock, not knowing what to do. I am always bad at handling crying people. So I got up, sat in my bed, still cuddled under my blanket as it was cold and asked timindly,

-“Hey are you ok?”

She started snobbing louder. My mind wasn’t working right. I was scared as to what has happened to my roommate at this hour of the night. I gathered the courage and got down from my bed and got into hers. I slowly moved her fingers through her hair. I didn’t talk, I just let her cry.

She got up and hugged me tight and started crying loudly. I hugged her tightly and protectively. I was getting curious but I didn’t speak anything as I knew she was in a very vulnerable state. I just sometimes spoke in the middle trying to calm her down.

After 15 minutes she stopped crying. But she still got the sobbing fits. I urged her to calm down. I took her to the washroom which was just opposite to our room and made her wash her face. I even gave her some water to drink. She was getting calm.

We didn’t go inside the room. I felt the aura might not be good for her. Instead i took two chairs and sat with her beside the water cooler in front of the window. We were just gazing out of the window. I didn’t say a word. I didn’t want her to cry again.

After around 10 minutes or so, she spoke

-“I need to talk to you, I mean I need to talk to somebody I can confide in. Please promise it will just be a secret between the two of us, and you won’t ask me any questions”

-“you can trust me. Tell me everything.”

-“I had a break-up just now”

And a tear rolled down her eye.

P.S- Next part coming on 9th March.....